The Consolation of Dr. Varqá After an Encounter With Rúhíyyih Khánumhttps://jack-mclean.com/essays/divine-simplicity-remembering-the-last-hand-of-the-cause-of-god-dr-ali-muhammad-varqa/
The conversation with Dr. Varqá on the Hadden estate, alluded to above, came at moment when I was recovering from what felt like a severe rebuke from ‘Amatu’l-Bahá Rúhíyyih Khánum. I wrote “what felt like.” Of course, it wasn’t a severe rebuke; it was a rather mild one. But coming from such a distinguished member of that illustrious institution, it felt like a blow. Its impact left me, in fact, momentarily dazed and confused. It does not matter now how that misunderstanding occurred or what was said. Let’s just say that it was one of those awkward exchanges that resulted from certain expectations and the embarrassment produced by a misconceived remark I made in the confusion of the moment.
Now, I know that I am not the only Bahá’í who experienced first hand Rúhíyyih Khánum’s direct manner. And in retrospect, I can see clearly now how I set myself up for it, well-intentioned though I was. Although the memory of the incident gradually dissipated, I must admit that it troubled me for years, that is, until the time of her passing. Then, mysteriously, a welcome and sudden psychological uplift occurred; instead of feeling embarrassed, I felt comforted and strangely peaceful. After her death, what I had once taken as a rebuke became a source of comfort; what I had experienced then as thunder and lightning became a refreshing rain shower. I am at a loss to explain this mysterious transformation, but it permanently removed the least twinge of discomfort.
Dr. Varqá and I crossed paths when I was still freshly reeling from the impact of the encounter. Unhinged, I unburdened myself to this fount of compassion and generosity there and then. Dr. Varqá knew exactly what I was feeling. He had seen it before. The receptivity, the “gentle kindliness, the humane understanding, the compassion and the loving-kindness of this man” of which I wrote above became embodied in that moment in his very presence. We spoke in French; Dr. Varqá had not yet learned English. “Now, now,” he said, with a comforting gesture of the hands in that soft, mild voice of his, as he threw a cloak of kindness over me, “Remain calm. Don’t be upset. These things happen sometimes. It has happened even with my wife, you know.”
Dr. Varqá wasn’t telling tales out of school; even less, did he have any intention of detracting from the high station of the great ambassadress of the Bahá’í Faith. He was simply recognizing, with that ocean of sympathy and understanding that defined his entire spiritual being, the human frailty and humanity that defines every Bahá’ í. Then we spoke of other things.
Just imagine how bad she ACTUALLY was when this is how she comes across when Baha'is who view her as one of the most holy people ever talk. Also shows the creepy worship of the Hands in the fact the person that wrote this puts themself entirely at fault for being insulted ("She wasn't rude, taking offense was the real crime."). And people wonder why the Faith's admin is filled with autocratic arseholes!
So much flowery language to put a nice wrapping paper on a story which is really, Ruhiyyih Khanum berated (and apparently traumatized) a young person who looked up to her and someone else comforted the young person by saying "Don't worry, she's just a massive dick and abuses my wife in the same way". What a horrible story.
For context Ruhiyyih Khanum was born into an incredibly wealthy Canadian family, then married the Guardian and was promptly worshipped by the Baha'i community. It's no wonder she was a deeply entitled unpleasant person. Seriously, most of the other Hands seemed to be relatively pleasant mellow people and embody what draws people into the Faith, but in virtually any first hand account I've ever read or heard about Ruhiyyih Khanum it's always the polite euphemistic "She was very direct" or "Had a strong sense of humor", which to me emphasizes she was basically a trust fund brat who got off on lording her superiority over people.
Even most of her written works are bitching about and bashing the Baha'is. Admittedly in amusing ways at times, she certainly knew how to roast people, but when you consider these people almost certainly would have read what she wrote and known she was belittling and insulting their sincere efforts and even without naming names she was humiliating them on a personal level to an international audience. What exactly was stopping her from being conceptual and not calling out specific acts? That's what Baha'is expect everyone else to do to 'maintain unity'.
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