the parents may refuse consent for marriage on any ground

...the parents “may refuse consent on any ground and that they are responsible to God alone.” Baha’is who marry without providing verified parental consent are subject to deprivation of their Baha’i administrative rights and privileges.

-The Universal House of Justice

https://file.bahai.media/e/e7/The_American_Bahá’í_Vol5_No1.pdf

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"it is impossible to treat multiple wives equally."

"Prior to the Revelation of the Prophet Muhammad, the Apostle of God (may the blessings of God rest upon Him), the practice of polygamy was so prevalent among the Arabs that it would not have been possible to enjoin monogamy on them all of a sudden. This notwithstanding, the Prophet Muhammad declared that if a man was incapable of treating all four of his wives equally, he would need to choose just one of them to be his wife." It is clear from this verse that, in reality, it is the practice of monogamy which is allowable and acceptable in the sight of God, since it is impossible to treat multiple wives equally."

(Mirza Mahmud Zarqani, Mahmud's Diary, volume two, Abdu'l-Baha in Europe, 1912-1913, translated by Adib Masumian, George Ronald, Oxford, 2024, footnote, p. 246)

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This law is binding on Persian believers

"…the Universal House of Justice instructs us to say that according to its ruling, the law of the Kitáb-i-Aqdas that the lapse of time between engagement and marriage should not exceed ninety-five days, is binding on Persian believers wherever they reside, if both parties are Persian. This law is not applicable, however, if one of the parties is a western believer."

-Lights of Guidance (second part)

https://bahai-library.com/hornby_lights_guidance_2&chapter=3/

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Marriage ceremony of Mirza Hadi and Diyaiyyih Khanum (parents of Shoghi Effendi)

The Mufti may be asked to chant the Marriage Chant at the Holy Shrine on Sunday.

My aunt invited the family of Muhammad-`Ali to come in the evening. They came and jeered at the simplicity of the wedding with great ridicule.

None of our friends knew that it was a day of marriage.

My mother, my aunt, and we four girls were together.

Aqa Mirza Hadi Afnan arrived.

We said "Bismi'l-lah!"

He kissed the hands of my aunt, my mother, and Diyaiyyih Khanum.

The Mufti chanted the Marriage Chants, and the marriage ceremony was accomplished.

(The Chosen Highway by Lady Blomfield, Baha'i Publishing Trust, Wilmette, Illinois)

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no one in Israel can marry a non-Baháʼí

I can remember an example of a girl in Haifa who I was very fond of. She was a child of a local person and she wanted to marry a non-Baháʼí, and the Guardian had had a great deal of difficulty with marrying non-Baháʼís and finally said no one in Israel can marry a non-Baháʼí because it never works out, all it does is to bring infinite headaches to the World Center of the Faith. So she came and she said she wanted to marry this non-Baháʼí and I went and asked the Guardian. And he said, "No. That is absolutely impossible." If she wants to marry him, she must go away from Israel. She must migrate. It was Palestine in those days. And I went and conveyed this message and she promised that she would do it. But when I told Shoghi Effendi, he said she will not, she will disobey. Oh, I said, "Shoghi Effendi, she's such a good girl and I know her, I see her all the time in the feasts. And she chants so beautifully. And she has such a nice spirit and I assure you, believe me, she will obey. It will be alright. I'm sure it'll be alright." He said, "Alright, I accept. Let her go away from this country and marry him abroad. But you will see in the end she will disobey. She will come back and she will have to be put out of the Cause." Well, I was distressed but I thought, "I'm sure that she will be alright." So I went downstairs and I told her this. And she went away and she married. And she stayed away for some months, I don't remember how long. And then one fine day the maid came and told me so and so is sitting downstairs in the tea room and my heart just turned over and I thought, "Now, you see? God help you. There she is and what Shoghi Effendi said is just coming true." So I went downstairs and saw her and I said, "You know, you can't stay here. You promised that you would go and stay away. And now you're back again." Well, of course, to make a long story short, there was more assurances and promises and she said, "No, we're only here for a visit" and so on and they were there for good and they became covenant breakers and that took care of that.

Rúhíyyih Khánum speaking at the closing session of the Bahá’í World Congress in London, 1963

https://bahai.works/Transcript:Ruhiyyih_Khanum/Speech_at_close_to_Bahá’í_World_Congress,_1963

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Short biography of Baha'u'llah

".... Baha'u'llah had by 1873 already been permitted to move out of the Akka prison, and to rent a dwelling in the town. When they arrived in Syria, the Baha'is had been suspected by local Authorities of being nothing but anarchists and criminals. Gradually, Baha'u'llah's uprightness and high ideals changed the minds of officials, and only once, when some of the rougher Baha'is murdered three Azalis who were spying on the Baha'is for the Ottoman state, was this rapprochement interrupted. Baha'u'llah had attempted to instill a Pacifist ethos in the Babi community, and deeply regretted the incident. In 1877, the local Ottoman governor gave him permission to live in a mansion outside Akka, at Mazra'a. In 1879 he moved to another mansion, at Bahji (literally the "small garden," Bagce, in Turkish), where he lived until his passing in 1892. Baha'u'llah married three times, first Asiyih "Nuvvab" Khanum in his youth, then his cousin, Mahd-i 'Ulya, whose family had been martyred; he had a number of children with each of these co-wives, in accordance with Middle Eastern customs of the time. In Baghdad he married Gawhar Khanum (the latter appears to have been a pro forma temporary marriage [mut'ah] of a sort required of Shi'ite law where a man had a live-in maid, and Gawhar Khanum had been brought into the household in the Shi'ite Karkh district in order to serve Asiyih Khanum). He had only one child, a daughter, with Gawhar Khanum). Baha'u'llah's eldest son and vicar, 'Abdu'l-Baha, later Interpreted the Most Holy Book to require monogamy. Baha'u'llah had altogether fourteen children from his three wives, including four daughters. Five of his sons predeceased him. As noted, he appointed his eldest son, 'Abdu'l-Baha, as his successor and the official interpreter of his religion after his death, and he also provided for the election of local houses of justice and a world-wide Universal House of Justice to govern community affairs. Baha'u'llah died of a fever in 'Akka on 29 May 1892, at the age of 74."

"A Brief Biography of Baha'u'llah" Juan R.I. Cole, Department of History, University of Michigan

https://bahai-library.com/wwwboard/messages03/665.html

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Divorce rate in the U.S. Baha'i community

An internal Baha'i household survey done in 1987 found that the divorce rate in the U.S. Baha'i community was higher than that in American society as a whole. The report was never released to the public.

My own suspicion is that the high divorce rate has several causes. First of all, Baha'is are encouraged to utopian ways of thinking. Two young people with little in common save that they are recent converts to the faith will be encouraged to marry. I have seen this sort of thing over and over again with my own eyes. This utopianism is widespread in the faith and is the same reason for which so many other Baha'i enterprises end up doing damage to people. That both are "Baha'is" is not a basis for a marriage. One may be a liberal and the other a fundamentalist; current norms against such labeling make it difficult for people to identify one another on that basis, but you'd better believe the difference would show up in a marriage!

Young married Baha'is are also encouraged to pioneer, whether abroad to places like Haiti and Nicaragua, or homefront. Being uprooted from their social networks and families and isolated in a strange environment is not good for them as young marrieds.

In smaller communities the Baha'i committee work is a killer, and may isolate the two spouses, who spend less time together just cocooning and watching t.v.

And it is my estimate that from a third to a half of U.S. Baha'is are what the sociologists would call marginal people--persons with poor social skills who are emotionally needy and who join the faith because they are love-bombed and find a high proportion of other marginals in it. A high rate of marginality is fostered by the cultists who have infiltrated the administration, since only such individuals would put up with being ordered around summarily or would eat up conspiracy theories about bands of dissidents seeking to undermine the administration. Marginals would have higher than normal divorce rates, obviously.

Finally, the Baha'i faith encourages a great deal of ego inflation in the individual. Each Baha'i thinks he or she is saving the world and is a linchpin in the plan of God. This inspires in them great (and often quite misplaced) confidence in their own judgment--I've seen them pronounce authoritatively on astronomy, biology, Qajar history, and many other subjects on which they are woefully ignorant. Such ego inflation and over-confidence in personal judgment would not be good for a marriage.

cheers Juan

[P.S. I should have also included that the exclusiveness of the Baha'i community, non-attendance of non-Baha'is at Feast, pressure to convert spouses, etc., was also probably a contributing factor to Baha'i divorces where only one spouse was Baha'i.]

https://fglaysher.com/bahaicensorship/Cole81.html

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Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is punishable by a fine

Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is punishable by a fine paid to the Local Spiritual Assembly; the penalty for adultery is left to the Universal House of Justice.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bah%C3%A1%CA%BC%C3%AD_laws

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Bigamy in the Baha'i writings

"Beware that ye take not unto yourselves more wives than two. Whoso contenteth himself with a single partner from among the maidservants of God, both he and she shall live in tranquillity."

[Baha'u'llah, Kitab-i-Aqdas]

"Concerning bigamy, this has been promulgated, and no one must abrogate it. ‘Abdu’l Baha has not abrogated this law. These are false accusations and lies (spread by) the friends..."

"You asked about polygamy. According to the text (nass) of the Divine Book, having two wives is permitted ja’iz). This was never (abadan) prohibited, but it is legitimate and allowed (halal wa mubah)..."

[Amr wa Khalq 4: 174f]

According to Sen McGlinn, the Bab allowed this too. (a wife taking a second husband because of the first husband's infertility)

“... it is true that during the ministry of Bahá'u'lláh, and also during that of Abdu'l-Baha, bigamy was practiced to some degree in the Bahá'í communities of the East.”

- written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice

“...[Bahá’u’lláh] outwardly permitted two wives.”

- Universal House of Justice

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The laws of Bahá’u’lláh are not considered binding on the friends in Egypt... there is no objection to a marriage taking place without the permission of either set of parents being obtained.

Should the parents be implacably opposed to the notion of their son or daughter’s marrying another Bahá’í, then, at least in the case of new believers, this need not prove an insurmountable barrier. This is because, as previously mentioned, the laws of Bahá’u’lláh are not considered binding on the friends in Egypt who do not come from Bahá’í families. Therefore, should this person find another soul who also has a pure heart which is already, or can be, attracted to the Cause of God and who, consequently, is not officially registered as belonging to the community, then there would be no objection to a marriage taking place without the permission of either set of parents being obtained.

The UHJ, Letter Dated 31 March 2009
Transmitted by email to the Office of Persian and Arab Affairs

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Incest!?

...the text of the Kitáb-i-Aqdas forbids a man to marry his father’s wife (i.e. his stepmother), and the Guardian has indicated that likewise a woman is forbidden to marry her stepfather.

http://reference.bahai.org/en/t/b/KA/ka-2.html

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Abdul Baha on Bigamy

`Abdu'l-Bahá on bigamy, Tablets:

I don't know the dates of these Tablets, perhaps Sen McGlinn can help (he translated Tablets 2, 3 and 4)

Tablet 1:
"Know thou that polygamy is not permitted under the law of God, for contentment with one wife hath been clearly stipulated. Taking a second wife is made dependent upon equity and justice being upheld between the two wives, under all conditions. However, observance of justice and equity towards two wives is utterly impossible. The fact that bigamy has been made dependent upon an impossible condition is clear proof of its absolute prohibition. Therefore it is not permissible for a man to have more than one wife". (in Bahá'u'lláh, Kitab-i-Aqdas, note 89, pp. 205-206)

Tablet 2:
"You asked about polygamy. According to the text (nass) of the Divine Book the right of having two wives is lawful and legal (ja'iz). This was never (abadan) prohibited, but it is legitimate and allowed (halal wa mubah). You should therefore not be unhappy, but take justice into your consideration so that you may be as just as possible. What has been said was that since justice is very difficult [to achieve], therefore tranquillity [calls for] one wife. But in your case, you should not be unhappy".(From Amr va Khalq 4:173)

Tablet 3:
"Concerning bigamy [the number of wives], this has been promulgated, and no one must abrogate it (masusast nasikhi nadarad). 'Abdu'l-Bahá has not abrogated this law. These are false accusations and lies (muftariyat-i rufaqast) [spread by] the friends [i.e., Covenant- breakers?]. What I have said is that He [Bahá'u'lláh] has made bigamy bound on a precondition. As long as someone does not attain certitude regarding the capability to practice justice and his heart is not at rest that he can practice justice, he should not be intent upon a second marriage. But if he should be sure and attain certitude that he would practice justice on all levels [and conditions] (dar jami'-i maratib), then a second marriage is lawful. Just as has been the case in the Holy Land (Ardi-i Maqsud): the Bahá'í friends wished to marry a second wife, accepting this pre- condition, and this Servant [i.e., 'Abdu'l-Bahá] never refrained [from giving permission], but insisted that justice should be considered, and justice actually means here self-restraint (daraji-i imtina'). But they said that they will practice justice and wished to marry a second wife. Such false accusations [concerning 'Abdu'l-Bahá's prohibition of bigamy] are the slanderous whisperings (zamzamih) of those who wish to spread doubts [in people's hearts]. And to what degree they already succeed in making matters ambiguous! [Our] purpose was to state that bigamy without justice is not lawful and that justice is very difficult [to achieve]. (Amr va Khalq 4:175-76).

Tablet 4:
"In the Qur'an the word has been revealed "and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice [to so many] then one [only] . . .', indicating that in the presence of God the acceptable judgment is monogamy". (Amr va Khalq 174f.)

If you ask Baha'is : In the Aqdas Bahá'u'lláh allowed bigamy but now Bahá'ís practice monogamy, why?

They answer that `Abdu'l-Bahá interpreted that this law refers only to monogamy because the condition of justice is impossible.

But then you find two tablets where `Abdu'l-Bahá says that bigamy is legal and He did not change the law of Bahá'u'lláh!!

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Polygamy and Tact and Wisdom

This principle (of tact and prudence) has been applied by 'Abdu'l-Bahá and Shoghi Effendi in the case of Bahá'í teachings on monogamy. The Kitab-i Aqdas appears to allow bigamy when it states: "Beware that ye take not unto yourselves more wives than two."[33] In an untranslated letter 'Abdu'l-Bahá gave a believer permission to take a second wife. He also indicated that the law concerning taking no more than two wives cannot be abrogated. He also noted that this law was conditional upon justice which was a condition virtually impossible to fulfill, but that 'Abdu'l-Bahá would not prevent believers from marrying a second wife if they were certain they would act with justice.[34] Both during the ministry of Bahá'u'lláh and 'Abdu'l-Bahá bigamy was practiced in Bahá'í communities within the Middle East. Yet in another Tablet 'Abdu'l-Bahá stated:

Know thou that polygamy is not permitted under the law of God, for contentment with one wife hath been clearly stipulated. Taking a second wife is made dependent upon equity and justice being upheld between the two wives, under all conditions. However, observance of justice and equity towards two wives is utterly impossible. The fact that bigamy has been made dependent upon an impossible condition is clear proof of its absolute prohibition. Therefore it is not permissible for a man to have more than one wife.[35]

Shoghi Effendi later determined that this statement of 'Abdu'l-Bahá's would be considered normative within the Bahá'í community.[36] A letter from the Research Department of the World Centre on this topic suggests that 'Abdu'l-Bahá "introduced the question of monogamy gradually in accordance with the principles of wisdom and the progressive unfoldment of His purpose."[37] As we have seen, the term wisdom in Bahá'í writings whether it refers to inscrutable divine wisdom or the caution and tact with which Bahá'ís are urged to conduct themselves for the protection of the Faith usually carries with it the connotation of foresight. In practice, the word could be used within the community to refer to acts which seemingly contradicted some of the basic principles of the Faith but which in the long term were seen as serving its best interest. Especially included among such acts have been the willingness on the part of believers to deny their Bahá'í identity under persecution, the temporary exercise of censorship, and compromises made in regards to gender issues.

https://bahai-library.com/maneck_wisdom_dissimulation_hikmat

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Birth of a child out of wedlock

"Generally, administrative rights should not be suspended because of the birth of a child out of wedlock. The questions to be considered are whether the party is guilty of blatant and flagrant immorality, whether such conduct is harming the Faith, and whether the believer has refused or neglected to improve her conduct despite repeated warnings.

(From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice, March 23, 1983)
http://bahai-library.com/hornby_lights_guidance.html&chapter=1#n206

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There is no specific minimum age mentioned in the Bahá'í teachings at which girls may marry.

Shoghi Effendi said :
"There is no specific minimum age mentioned in the Bahá'í teachings at which girls may marry."

He noted
"In dealing with people who are still backward in relation to our civilized standards...we must not be too strict in enforcing our opinions on peoples still living in primitive social orders."

http://bahai-library.com/uhj_reconciliation_apparent_contradictions#s3

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Non-Baha'i should also follow the Bahá'í law of divorce!

"As regards Bahá'í divorce as mentioned in your letter of June 12th: Bahá'ís (whether one party or both are believers) should follow the Bahá'í law of divorce, i.e., one year of waiting, and not neglect this divinely given law. Whether they were Bahá'ís when married or not has nothing to do with it."

(From a letter written on behalf of the Guardian to the National Spiritual Assembly of the British Isles, June 12, 1952)

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Two Bahá’ís, when getting married, cannot have the religious ceremony of another Faith.

In reply to your letter of January 26th, we feel that while it is important to be flexible in requesting new believers, particularly youth who may encounter parental opposition, to withdraw from membership of other religious organizations, such flexibility cannot be allowed to extend to compromising Bahá’í law. Two Bahá’ís, when getting married, cannot have the religious ceremony of another Faith.

(Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance, p. 161)

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If as registered believers you are married in a non-Baha'i ceremony, you will lose your voting rights

5 May 1957

Miss ... and Mr.....

Dear .....,

Your letter of April 23rd has been received by the beloved Guardian, and he has instructed me to answer you on his behalf.

The question of your marriage is one which is clearly understood by the National Assembly, and the Guardian thought by most of the believers; and he is surprised that you should have been advised by fellow-Bahá'ís that you could have a Christian marriage, in view of the fact that you are both Bahá'ís.

It is only fair to tell you that, if as registered believers you are married in a Christian ceremony, you will lose your voting rights.

You did quite right to obtain the permission of your parents; and he hopes that now you will be able to extricate yourselves from this difficult position you find yourselves in, without angering Mr......

As you are aware, the Guardian feels that the Bahá'ís must, in view of the condition of the world today, stand forth firmly and courageously as followers of Bahá'u'lláh, obeying His Laws, and seeking to build his World Order. Through compromise we will never be able to establish our Faith or win others' hearts to it. This involves often great personal sacrifice, but we know that, when we do the right thing, God gives us the strength to carry it out, and we attract His blessings. We learn at such times that our calamity is indeed a blessing.

He will pray for the satisfactory solution of your problem.

With warm Bahá'í greetings, R. Rabbani.

May the Almighty guide, bless & sustain you, & aid you to promote the vital interests of His Faith,

Your true brother, Shoghi

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